{"id":2627,"date":"2022-11-19T21:55:29","date_gmt":"2022-11-19T19:55:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/?p=2627"},"modified":"2026-09-28T18:02:19","modified_gmt":"2026-09-28T15:02:19","slug":"my-guilt-my-chain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/my-guilt-my-chain\/","title":{"rendered":"My Guilt, My Chain"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If guilt were the protagonist of a fairy tale, it would be the wicked stepmother. It is and always will be the eternal favorite of poets, second only to love. It is something that everyone eventually faces when analyzing themselves sooner or later. It is one of the most common building blocks of many family and religious dynamics. Guilt has some very good friends: self-humiliation, morality, entrapment, victimization, and self-punishment. These friendships (or rather, toxic friendships) of guilt are what we will try to touch on today with our most difficult goal being the decriminalization of guilt in some of its manifestations!

Guilt <\/strong>
Guilt could be likened either to a chain reaction or to a chain itself. When we are at the edge of a cliff, it is good to be chained to something solid this is how I would compare the moral rules we are all raised with to prevent us from harming ourselves and those around us. And the verb “to harm” is what creates many misunderstandings and later, many guilt-ridden adults!

We learn from childhood that in order to make our parents happy, we must do what they want in the way they want it. Many parents will say, “Not what I want, but what is right.” However, since “right” is defined by the adult parent god of the child, it automatically translates in the child\u2019s soul as their “desire.” The child will grow up, enter a social circle, and to be liked and accepted, will do things the way others want them done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Chain<\/strong>
When the chain doesn\u2019t only tie us at the edge of a cliff, but throughout our entire childhood and adult life, what kind of life are we truly living, and what path are we really walking if we cannot take a step? The greatest guilt stems from two phrases we heard repeatedly as children, forming the acquired characteristic of the guilt-ridden person: \u201cYou\u2019re a bad child or you could have done better\u201d and \u201cAfter all I\u2019ve done for you\u2026 and you repay me with ingratitude!\u201d

From an early age, we learn that to make our parents happy, we must do what they want, the way they want it. Many parents say, \u201cNot what I want, but what\u2019s right.\u201d But because \u201cright\u201d is defined by the adult the parent the godlike figure to the child, it is automatically interpreted as the adult\u2019s desire. Eventually, the child grows up and joins a peer group, and to be liked and accepted, they do things the way others want.

My Desires, My Self Later<\/strong>, as an adult, they will seek themselves in the “wants” of others there will be no mention of their own desires. And if you ask this adult why they do what they do despite complaining, feeling exhausted, or resentful, they will answer disarmingly, “But\u2026 they need me, I can\u2019t leave them.” When the real sentence is, “I need to do things as they ask so I can belong somewhere.” Entrapment, self-punishment, and a bottled-up anger that, if expressed, will become an earthquake!

And since we have spoken so much about guilt, let me add my own small contribution. The greatest guilt you will feel is if life passes by and you don\u2019t know who you truly are because you spent it learning about everyone else if you never chased your dreams because you were helping others achieve theirs if you discover how fake that chain truly was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Good Child <\/strong>
A good child doesn\u2019t say no\u2026 they do what\u2019s right as perfectly as possible, and of course, feel guilty for not doing it perfectly enough because what is expected is always more than what is done. They never refuse a request, because the happiness of others becomes their goal and form of self-actualization. \u201cI don\u2019t have needs; my friends, my family, all of you may you be well.\u201d When in reality, the unspoken truth is: \u201cI don\u2019t know what my needs are\u2026 and since I\u2019ve learned to fulfill yours, I guess I\u2019m fine.\u201d Self-deprecation and victimization.

And since we\u2019ve talked so much about guilt, let me add my piece: The greatest guilt you may feel is if life passes and you never find out who you really are, because you spent it learning everyone else\u2026 if you never chased your own dreams because you were helping others achieve theirs\u2026 if one day you realize just how fake that chain really was.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If guilt were the protagonist of a fairy tale, it would be the wicked stepmother. It is and always will…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":2453,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[64],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-anna-koumpouli"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2627","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2627"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2627\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4038,"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2627\/revisions\/4038"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2453"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2627"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2627"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psyxologoi.gr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2627"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}